Review: Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford
Somebody's Daughter is Ashley C. Ford's debut, it is her memoir about her contentious relationship with her mother, how she feels about her incarcerated father, her grandmother, and her growing up and moving away from her family. It is beautifully written, deeply vulnerable and honest, and is structured so wonderfully. It is one of my very favorite things I have ever read.
This book is such a clear look into Ford's life; you can really see how her life experiences have reverberated throughout into her adulthood. It is an incredibly honest story; throughout the reading of this book, I often wondered how the people being written about felt. I especially felt this about her mother. While reading, I wanted so deeply to know if she could see her child's deep need for her positive attention and especially her desire for an apology.
Ford fully presents her story, at least this part of it; it would be totally impossible for her to write such an honest and open story without talking about other people. The way those people's actions shaped her life is clearly so important to her life it would be impossible to write a memoir without them. She really writes about people, especially her mother and father, without malice; she is very honest about the places where she has a hard time forgiving or just does not know how to square the loving version of that person with the version that has caused deep hurt in her or in others. This book is an incredibly open look at who Ashley C. Ford is, at her sense of self and her emotional life.
Ashley C. Ford tells her story so beautifully. I listened to big chunks of this book as an audiobook, but I was constantly reaching for my physical copy to underline or make notes of when I cried or laughed while reading. I have followed Ford's writing online for years, so I knew I loved her writing, but that did not prevent me from absolutely being floored by how much I loved her writing. I am so very excited to continue following Ford's career.
One of the most impressive factors of this memoir is how Ford handles shame. She talks so honestly, even about memories that must have been deeply painful for her to grapple with, about many things that are so societally surrounded by shame. You can tell that Ford has thought a lot about these things, and she is so honest about the trauma of her experiences but also about the way she thinks about things that maybe isn't how someone is 'supposed' to. This is especially relevant when Ford discusses the rape she experienced as a teenager and how she grappled with wanting to have sex later with someone she deeply trusted after having experienced sexual assault. Ford repeatedly discusses deeply emotional topics without shame; she offers her story so honestly for other people to connect with her deepest feelings. I was so impressed over and over by this while reading.
I gave this book five stars. I really recommend this book; I want to push it into so many people's hands. If you want a memoir, if you want to get a clear glimpse into someone else's mind, into how they became the person they currently are and who shaped them, then run don't walk to this book. Ford discusses love, family, trauma, abuse, the desire to become a person you will love even if others don't understand, her bisexuality, her romantic relationships, and so much more. I want you to read this book. I loved it so deeply.
